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I'm a manly man
#1
I shoot, fish, and camp.

I shoot the breeze, fish for compliments, and camp out on the sofa.  

My ex was a typical housewife.  She cooked, washed, and cleaned.  

She cooked her husband's goose (me), washed her hands of the kids, and cleaned out the bank account.  

(Credit for the second one goes to Groucho Marx. but it does accurately describe my ex.)
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